I got a call today that went a bit like this,
"What do you know about this Mom Dot thing?"
(gasp!) "I don't know! I've been to the park, and then I was working - a lot. Dooce was on GMA."
"No, no, the Mom Dot thing. The PR Black Out...buh, buh, bummmm"
"What? (looking around to make sure no pr reps are in my living room, hiding behind the couch or under the coffee table) What's she thinking??"
"I don't know, but I bet it won't mean pulling down her ads for the week or not working on those social media marketing projects."
"Yeah, girlfriend. True dat. Word to your mommy blogger."
Okay, so it didn't go exactly like that, but you get the idea. The air was thick with controversy, my stomach definitely churned once or twice, and then I ran to the computer as fast as I could without my husband realizing what I was doing.
I prepared to face the post with righteous indignation. PR Black Out!? But she loves to work with companies...except for the ones who don't like when she curses. But still! What's she thinking?
What she's thinking is what I've been thinking. A lot of us are burned out. We're tired. We say yes to a lot of fun (free) projects that leave us exhausted and clawing to find time to work on the (sometimes) fun not free projects. And blogging about things that we love just because we love them? Well, that doesn't happen very often for many of us.
The suggestion was this: take one week in August and stop working with PR. Don't host a giveaway. Don't write a review. Don't e-mail the PR reps back or take their calls. Hold a PR Black Out.
Here's the problem with this for many of us - a week off of PR is like a week away on a tropical island where there is no WiFi, no mobile service, and possibly even no technology.
It's just not going to happen. It would be not only biting the hand that feeds me - it would be gnawing off the hand that feeds my children.
The Mommy Blogger Hybrid:
Apparently the battle rages on between the purist mommy bloggers and the "PR Friendly" button wearers - like myself - who get just as big a thrill learning and blogging about the best new thing as we do blogging about the crazy experience we just had with our children on the playground after school.Let's just end this battle now and get something straight. I am a Mommy Blogger Hybrid - MB2.0 - available now everywhere blogs are read.
Like Trisha at MomDot and many others, I blog about my life, my kids, my family...the products I love, the products I'm trying, and the products I'm giving away to you. For some old school bloggers and blog readers, this is an unlikely partnership that leaves many feeling awkward and uncomfortable, much like when you find yourself sitting next to the 70 year old grandpa and his 25 year old girlfriend at your cousin's wedding. You just need to look the other way.
But for many of us this is a natural fit. We were already e-mailing other moms to tell them how much we loved our Graco strollers and going on local Yahoo forums to find out if anyone could recommend the best diaper. Bringing this aspect of our lives online along with the proud mama, angry wife, motivated woman ramblings just comes naturally. And then some figured out that there was money to be made, and not just in sidebar ads. Is that the straw that broke the camel's back? Perhaps.
Now imagine the conversation happening in PR firms around the country as MB2.0 began to pick up steam...
"Did you see that Mommy Loves Stuff for Moms has been writing about the latest tech sites for kids?"
"Yeah, and we've got that client we just brought on - Our Sites for Kids Rock - and they could totally use that kind of exposure."
"Oh, I know! She's got 245,983 pageviews a day! Let's e-mail her..."
And so it began. Some PR firms are better than others about the ways in which they reach out to bloggers and the ways in which they offer compensation. In my experience, I have refused pay for post, but I certainly enjoy a good giveaway for my readers. Other bloggers prefer ad revenue opportunities, while still others are happy simply to receive the product. The problem in the world of Mommy Blogger Hybrids - and I think this is what Trisha was getting at - is that these offers are coming at many of us from all sides, all the time.
We are MB 2.0 because of our natural inclination to love this type of blogging, so refusing fun offers and choosing to not tell our readers about an interesting new site or product is a very tough call. And so along comes the PR Black Out.
I love this idea. I love the idea of some time off. I love the idea of taking a week to write all of the ideas that litter the white board on my wall, clutter the sticky notes on my desk, and swirl in my head in the quietest times of the day.
But again - dance with the one who brought ya'. I care for and respect the PR firms and brands with whom I work and a black out just doesn't make sense for me.
So I have a counter offer for you, Trisha.
Let's have a Brown Out.
For every Mommy Blogger Hybrid who has been working just a little too hard, riding the wave just a little too long, let's commit to finding a day every week to blog about nothing. Or anything. But not because a company's suggested it to us...
Or how about this - let's unplug and take a few days to not blog at all. A vacation, even.
I won't be blacking out with the Mom Dot ladies because it just isn't a fit, but I applaud the sentiment behind the idea. Balance is important - and so is moderation - so I will approach my opportunities with a judicious eye moving forward because the last thing I want to do is burn out...and have to black out.
PostScript: One of the comments brought up the notion of having many blogs to suit many needs, which is an idea that went around the mommy blogging community more than once recently, with ladies seemingly divided on the topic. The whole "disclosure/carpet baggers" debate led me to add a new button to my nav. bar giving me a feeling of permission to write about, well, just me. But I still wonder if a completely separate blog is a way to not feel the need for black outs, brown outs, or freak outs of any kind? I'd love to hear your thoughts...
62 comments:
Perfectly said, and I'm with you. I'm not a big-timer, but I get my share of pitches. I think most of it just comes to being aware of what you like to do at your core of blogging and online.
Agreed. I've never developed a second review only blog because I feel it flows more naturally to have all of me in one place. But this has been a challenge too, to find the right balance of personal posts versus "PR" posts. It's all about that....the balance....
I like the brown out. I'm with you. I've been trying to inject a little more family time by spending a little less time behind my computer. One day a week is doable, and I think we'd all benefit from it.
I seriously have nevah had a PR person pitch me..I just don't have a very big readership. I actually pitched myself to my blogher sponsor (@HairZing). Maybe I should be a PR person ins tead of a blogger, heh. But, anyway, I don't really get the whole purist vs pr friendly issue. Just read the kind of bloggers you like and let everyone else do the same. The bloggers I read I trust enough that if they try a product and it sucks, they won't be writing about it at all. That's good enough for me!
I could definitely not do a black out. I don't even know that I could do a black out. Since my site isn't review/PR focused anyway, I'm not worrying too much about the black out. I can see the reasoning for it though.
I totally get your point...I am new to this whole blogging world, but I can see the stress that it must cause alot of bloggers having to be so organized and feeling the pressure to review, etc.
I'll gladly take on some review/giveaway offers lol
(I may regret saying that lol)
I seriously am trying now to get into doing that...I am definitely a "non-typical" blogger in the "mommy blogger world" haha
I enjoy yours and many of the other blogs..Keep up the great work and I respect and admire Trisha at MomDot for her decision and you for your decision too:)
Like you I prefer the "brown out" lol. I enjoy the reviews and giveaways just as I enjoy posting info on freebies etc. However I felt like I needed 1 post a week where I could connect with my readers and they connected with me. I call it Mom Moment Mondays. Every Monday I post something about me and I include a Mr. Linky so I can see others blogs. It hasn't been as popular as the reviews and giveaways mind you, but it's there for me so it works. Anywho just my 2 cents.
Kasandria
@waystosave
I was JUST thinking about this today! While I love working with PR, and I am one of those "natural fit" kinds of people, there is a balance in not feeling trapped by having to keep up the buzz 24/7. Ya know? Companies are everywhere now, and sometimes I just want to get away.
Especially since I am sort of on the outskirts of all the PR stuff, and not quite yet in the "high demand" group {although getting there, I think}
I have been VERY selective about the kinds of campaigns I take lately, and I like it. Not blacking out, but just thinking long and hard about whether they fit. Of course, I'm not really raking in the dough either!
I think it boils down to "do what you want on your blog." Don't want to do the PR? Don't. Does it drive and exhilarate you? Go for it!
I saw the GMA segment with Classy Mommy and Dooce. Overall it was fair, but I'm getting kinda tired of snarky reporters.
Holy rambling, batman.
My blog at woolwytch has just started picking up steam, but I can see the value of a brown out. I've run busy sites before and I have to say that there are days that it's worth it to just take a day a week and write only what pleases you and to heck with the rest of the world.
It takes me weeks to get back to PR companies that email me. Everything goes into a file the moment I see it and then I fly through the file much, much later, all at once.
I go days, if not weeks, at a time without blogging. About anything. As in not hitting the publish button at all. Actually, not even turning on the computer.
Then I have months like July when I'm online all the frickin' time because I'm planning a huge event for 700 bloggers. And I mean all the frickin' time. But that's what it takes when the pressure is on and you want to deliver your best.
That's my balance. And it works mighty fine for me. Could I be more, I don't know, successful if I approached it more diligently? Sure. But then something else would have to give.
I'm all for a Brown Out. A Black Out. A Time Out. I do it all the time. I can't recommend it enough.
Heck, just Get Out and breathe.
I've been blogging since April and got my first pitch over the weekend--for a product I agreed to review and consider giving away to readers if I like it.
I personally don't have a lot of interest in reading review sites, but I'm open to writing maybe one review a week (likely in lieu of my usual one day off from blogging).
But as much as I'd like to be compensated for all the time and energy I put into my blog (currently 95% personal/parenting stories), I would be seriously bummed if the PR took over and I had to carve out special days to write the kind of entries that got me doing this in the first place.
I don't think I'd be motivated enough to sustain it. But is it possible to earn much blogging without shifting the balance to PR? Do any readers come to read and think and relate--or is everyone but me mostly interested in products and giveaways?
Sorry for such a long comment. Thanks in advance for any insights.
I agree with you Amy! I think you hard working blog momma's should step back and take a break as you see fit! Don't get all burned out! But lets not try and start a Union here.
I'm just in this for fun and it is a hobby! If I was making a living at it I could see where at times one might feel used by the companies. This is a hard business to set standards. It will interfere with the entrepreneurial drive and um the power some blogs have over other....
Enjoy your blog, make it what you want!
Word. That's all I got, homey. You said it so well- and I love the emphasis on lack of judgey, heavy on the do what works formula. Because as Dave Ramsey's Grandma says, "Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still." Things evolve, they do become hybridized, and sometimes those plants are the most hardy. OK my metaphor hit a wall. But you hear me. I'll see you next week!
I'm part of the MomDot community and I'll be joining in the Blackout.
I started my blog to showcase other moms and keep up my writing skills not to work with PR reps who pitch me organic applesauce.
It will be nice to take my blog back to it's roots and focus on what I'm passionate about for just one week. I'm pretty sure it wont stop the reps from pitching in the future.
I know that we do have different audiences and we write about different topics so I can see how it wouldn't be up your alley but for those of us who are participating, it will be a welcome break!
I think it also depends on why you blog, why you started to blog or if you've had a change of focus. Trisha posted earlier that her tide, the tides, of mommy blogging is changing.
For me personally, I have found my voice best, when I get to share stories of living in Hawaii. So my focus is changing a bit from products (what I started as) so to me, this is a nice way to go that route even a bit more, if even for a week.
I know that the relationships I've created with PR folks/friends will still be there after a 7 day hiatus. They don't run my site, I do. I think that's what Trisha is doing...just takigng it back a bit.
I do understand where you are coming from. If working with PR has become your blogging job (and you seemingly love it) then yeah, you probably aren't going to want to take that week off.
So I think it totally depends on what type of mommy blogger you are.
And this is totally silly and I"m just doing it for laughs (gosh I hope it gets laughs ;) )
A brown out would be 52 days of no PR, whereas the black out would be only 5 or 7 (depending on how you count your editorial week ;)
In any case, I love it when two great bloggers get us all thinking and talking!!
Sarah
Ohana Mama,
I'm with you on the number of days - I love the idea of instead of a nice, sustained "take back your blog" because as I said, despite the idea being as appealing to me as a getaway on a lovely secluded island, taking off 7 consecutive days is just not an option. There are contracts and payments and, well...my job!
And yes, not only did I see that greast post about the turning tide, but I commented on it earlier today. It's what really got me thinking about the need for all of us to do something, even if taking off seven straight days isn't feasible because of prior committments.
Heather, it sounds like you and I started our blogs for exactly the same reason, but both of us became the Hybrid I was talking about. I noticed the PR Friendly button on your blog some time ago, and I think that is becoming the rule rather than the exception.
Organic applesauce? Why didn't I get that pitch? ;)
And you wonder why I have 4 blogs. LOL. I found that I had to take self imposed blackouts because on top of 4 blogs, I have freelance work that *gasp* actually pays me per hour. THough I do take off from all of it when I can when I start feeling like I am burning out. Otherwise, it isn't fun anymore.
Amy! Come to my island anytime...we have internet :)
Sarah, watch it with that island offer. You may just wake up to a pale East Coaster and her Blackberry knocking on your door. ;)
I don't do a whole lot with PR ... haven't figured out a balance yet but you can throw your PR peeps my way if you decide to black out LOL
I generally don't trust bloggers who do sponsored product reviews - or anyone who seems like their opinion can be "bought." People are free to do them as they please, and I am free to have my opinion
I guess this would mean more to me if I was completely inundated with offers from PR firms, but I actually get just the right amount of fun to join in on. I don't have a media kit. I don't send out pitches. Ask my friends... I actually had to buy a book on getting over my fear of pitching! But that's because I'm naturally inclined to do something else, and that's all starting to show up.
As a follower and reader, I look forward to finding out what you are checking out. You are my resource for info on a great many mom-type things.
It's just like anything. We all gravitate to what we are naturally good at. As children, we all chose our sports or hobbies based on who we essentially are. I love that I know so many people that love to write about so many different things. If we all did this the same way, it would be amazingly boring.
Sugar,
I love your comment so much because I can still remember as a child, sitting on the floor with my gold tape recorder and my pink jordache purse recording myself singing jingles...
I have another tape where I'm announcing products that I have created myself and then I run the entire ad...
Did I mention that "Target" most definitely appeared in Noah's first 20 words?
Sometimes the love for new things, big brands, exciting products is just who we are, and when I share that, it's geniune enthusiasm. It's exhausting to be that enthusiastic, and I think many of us are feeling that. But it doesn't change who we are.
Love it...
I've been taking one day off and away from the internet per week lately. My blog will always be there but my daughter won't always be 10. It's the summer and spending time with her is my priority as well as my daughter's wedding.
I love blogging and being a hybrid blogger is my style too. I want to keep it that way, so taking some time away is necessary. I think it should be for everyone. Who can "work" every day and not lose sight of what the real importance of their "work" is about?
BTW, I do earn money from my blogs and that's my choice to do so!
Hey, if you want the applesauce you can have it! I wonder if I can change the words "PR Friendly" To PR Friendly if you have read my blog, know what I write about, have a product/service/person to pitch that my readers would actually want to read about and understand if I don't get back to you within the hour? Hmmmm doesn't have the same ring now does it??? :D
Thanks for a thoughtful post and open discussion. I have a post with some common themes scheduled for next week and will go back and add in your link.
Earlier this year I launched a review blog, but for me, even one review/giveaway a week was getting to be a bit much. I did my own brown-out without even knowing it. Because I've been in the space about 4 years, my name has gotten around and I receive a daily does of queries, most of which I've learned to say no to, because they just don't suit me. (Want that organic applesauce? I'll pass it along.)
I welcome more mombloggers reviewing products in moderation and getting back to what, in my mind, made momblogs compelling reading in the first place.
About two months ago I started a Reviews blog, which is totally separate and asthetically completely different than my personal blog (which I've had for years now.) I started the separate reviews blog mostly for fun, to practice my writing, and to see what would happen with it. It's fun, but only two months in it's definitely getting a little busy. I'm not ready for a brown-out yet though.
I do prefer to see Mom blogs focusing on mom things, and reviews blogs to be separate things. I don't like feeling like I'm getting taken.
Personally, I don't try to "keep up with the Jones'." My partner and I began our blog to be just what it is - a strictly giveaway blog. We keep our personal lives on our personal blogs (I'll admit, I'm not on my personal blog as much as she is on hers, but that is because I have so many thoughts that my hands can't type fast enough to put the words out between 1 autistic child, 1 Prune Belly child, a teenager, a husband, on top of being a military family). We have so many giveaways scheduled that we are almost booked for the year, some PR, some not. Some we get paid for, some we get a product for, some we do just because we want to. My partner and I entered this venture with the understanding that family does come first. I like what we do. Even when it becomes stressful because I am up all hours of the night writing a post that is scheduled to post before the next morning's feed, it's still a decision I made when I started doing it. Sometimes for me, writing up a giveaway post is an escape from the real, life-threatening genetic disorder, chaos of living in an autistic's world, balancing all the doctor's appointments and school functions, handling a teenager, let alone my twitter addiction (had to put that in there). I do most of my work either when the children are at school or after they go to sleep, but I am a fortunate one, I am fully capable of functioning on 2-3 hours of sleep a night. It has taken about 17 years of training to become that way, but it is my way. Although I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
I make time on a daily basis to spend with my family...each of them. Those that integrate their personal lives and giveaways and/or reviews on their blogs, more power to ya and a big KUDOS! In my opinion, I couldn't care less if Mom Dot rally's a black out or if anyone else does a brown out, but that is just in my personality type. You can do what you want to do as long as it doesn't affect me or my family. Like I said, I spend time with my family which in my opinion is much more important than even discussing/writing about daily, trivial, "look what she's doing" "Can you believe her outfit" "oh, you must be friends with this or that person and kiss their butt because they have 8 million followers and a "tillion" (as my 5 y/o says) connections" high school BS that I have encountered in some of the blog-o-sphere. So, crux of all this babble...well written article, find your balance, but to each his/her own. Everyone should just do their own thing and quite being so concerned with what others think or what others are doing. My personal motto - Do Good and Good Will Come. I do good by spending quality time with my family while still keeping most of the giveaway post deadlines. Does it really matter in the big scheme of things if a post is a PR post and it's posted a day late? And for the personal bloggers, isn't the idea to memorialize moments in life that you can look back on and say to yourself - "oh yeah! I remember that!" I adore you Resourceful Mommy, you know that, or at least I hope you do - but unfortunately we most certainly will not participate in a black out and are not inclined to even participate in a brown out...bottom line for my partner and myself - our families already come first where we make memories which is my break and we make that clear to PR firms and sponsors. Good luck to any and all those that do participate, whether it be the black out or the brown out...it seems you are the ones that do need breaks - so take them!
Mom Stefanie
These "mommy blogging wars" remind me of the Mommy wars between SAHMs and working moms. They're simply not productive. We have to do what works for each of us.
And where do is get a MB 2.0 picture to post on my site?
Michelle,
I'm going to make a badge for all of us who participate in Wordless Wednesdays, run giveaways, complain about our mother-in-laws, and get paid occasionally to work with brands. The Hybrid: MB 2.0 ;)
Stef,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Like you, what I do has become very tired to the PR folks with whom I work on a daily - and often hectic - basis. The idea of an actual brown out is much more reasonable, but also not very likely. I would mostly likely pick a day to be incommunicado and then receive an e-mail from a client needing immediate attention and boom - brown out over. But because my intention was never to be a review or giveaway blog and that's just the fun direction I've taken, I hope that in my writing, at least, I can take one day a week to just write about my thoughts, sans the PR. You know, what's so funny is that my main focus - parenting tips, organization, better living, "resourcefulness" - is so often the focus of the pitches I receive, which I believe is what makes it so tough to turn down the noise. These products and services really are exactly the types of things I set out ot find for my readers! Which brings me back to...do I start a second blog that is just stream of consciousness and keep my focus here, well, focused?
-Amy
Hey, cool! Someone posted about me! I am so flattered. LOL!
We called it a Black Out because it makes sense...one week with no reviews and no giveaways.
For the record, it has nothing to do with ads. If your being paid for something, by all means, let your ads be shown. It has to do with the work behind it all and for what exactly?
I have realized my time is far more valuable then to post about every single PR release and snack cake that comes along in fear of losing a relationship and I want my community to realize that as well.
The women are stressed...i see it daily. The deadlines, the trips, the she said, she is going, she has something better than I do..the competition is incredibly out of control and unnecessary.
I can tell you what my readers think about a stroller, but not how their kids feel in that stroller and I believe its a problem.
You RARELY see me posting a review....go ahead, look around my blog..it doesnt happen often. Our reviews are written by guest writers 99% of the time because I personally cant take it anymore. I get over 3 pages of emails a day, with 75% being pitches.
I love PR, I mentioned that a lot, but I wont let PR run my blog anymore and that has been happening. I think even my PR understands.
I want 10 people to visit me because they LIKE me, not 1000 to visit me because I am giving something free away. Even if I start at the bottom of some lonely place, I want a week off. Products simply are not important to me.
And its just a week...i think we are all entitled to have no deadlines, no worries, and no obligations for a week.
So we will be blacking out reviews and giveaways the whole week and have stopped taking them from THIS POINT forward...thats right, we are prepping now to take back our blog. GASP!
LOL~
Trisha
Btw, I don't think for a 2nd that PR brought me where I am...i think i have helped countless PR get to where THEY are going.
It was my community, the bloggers, that brought our blog to any forefront whatsoever.
Its to them I owe anything I can call online success.
Trisha
I just don't understand why everything has to be so extreme. Why don't people just do what they want to do with their blogs? If bloggers want to do reviews & giveaways, do them. If we find ourselves getting bogged down (which I think that we all do at times), then why not stop accepting more things/be more particular regarding what we accept? (It's alright to say no!) I don't know. I just REALLY dislike extremes.
Wow this is such an interesting topic. Being a newbie, all this info is beneficial to me and I like seeing the different points of view.
I started blogging in January because there are no jobs for professional fundraisers in my teeny town so I needed something to keep me busy. I wrote and people came. People I never met and they kept coming back.
Amy knows how much I love giveaways. I started entering blog giveaways and somehow got involved in reviews by accident. My first giveaway was on my personal blog but I didn't like doing it there because many of my readers are family and friends. They don't know crap about blogging or reviews and giveaways, they come to see what I am up to so I didn't feel comfortable jamming reviews and giveaways on them so I created another blog just for review and giveaways.
I am so tiny in the big scheme of things and while I would love to have more PR people contacting me to do cool reviews, I also find that it does take up some of my gardening, reading, entering giveaways time etc. so I decided to just do a few reviews and giveaways a month. I have turned down offers that don't fit with me or my lifestyle.
I think in the end it's about what you feel comfortable doing and the time you are willing to take for a freebie etc. It takes time and work and if I think that with my teeny blog, I understand why people with bigger blogs get burned out. But as others have said, you have to do what you want and what's good for you. There are tons of people out there who will work with you even as a tiny blogger.
I totally missed this drama for once. I ignore 99% of pitches anyway. They usually don't pertain in any way to my blog.
This is precisely why when I realized that reviews/giveaways were taking up my time I took a step back, it's that simple really.
When something becomes overwhelming just reevaluate if it is that important to you and adjust. I cut back to one maybe 2 reviews and/or giveaways total a week, so I am posting about life, the going ons with me, my kids and have a balance
I applaud your "brown" LOL. It's the happy medium, if reviews/pr/giveaways are taking over someones life then they need to adjust accordingly.
I learned real quick the thrill of all the offeres are not worth the stress so I glance them over and it's a quick yay or nay as well as telling them upfront it could be up to 8 weeks before a review/giveaway posted. So be it if that means I get less offers.
Hooray for the Brown out :)
Oh give me a break. You pathetic "Mommy Bloggers" live in your closed world where you think you are so important. News flash - the only people that care about "Mommy Blogs" are other Mommy Bloggers, and companies that realize you are home all day playing on the computer instead of raising your children and figure they can get cheap promotions. Stop acting like you are so self important.
If the NY Times doesn't need "PR Blackouts" neither should you. Perhaps PR should just blackout all you ladies and then we'll see what you have to write about. It's only a matter of time when those precious ad dollars start drying up and that high horse you've been sitting on rides off into the sunset.
Why not just take a vacation. Let your computer breathe, take a week long break from everything computer related.
Your readers, people who visit your blog will come back and will respect you for taking a break to refresh yourself as will the PR reps.
Why worry about what you blog about... reviews, giveaways, PR pitches, life, advise, mommy stuff, bitchin, it does not matter! Write what you want when you want how you want. Why must we be conformed to a stigma? In my eyes who really cares if you are a "Big Blogger", who cares what your site stats are or how many people visit your blog? All that matters is that we all are who we are and we blog because we want to and we like to. Everyone gets burned out.. I get burned out being a mom sometimes! This is why I am glad that I have Stefanie as my partner in crime online! I can call her and say.. I NEED A BREAK and she jumps in and takes over so that I can recoup. Everyone should have a "buddy" online that they can trust who can take over when life throws us loops or we just need a break.
DO I read Dooce, yes I do but I read it because I like to read it, I also read a lot of other blogs and sites not because they are popular but because I like what they have to say... I was never popular, I am not now and I was not then. Let's just blog how we want to blog and break when we want to break and just be who we are.. like it or not.
All you PR people who are reading this, please feel free to contact me while others are blacked/browned out.
I'll be here to hold your hand or cry on my shoulder. Like a best friend when a boy friend says they need to "take a break", you can go ahead and "see other people", heck I'll even introduce you to some. It doesn't hurt to try new blogs, sometimes it can even be fun.
Seriously, email(avanhouten@sbcglobal.net) or call (818-395-6862), yes that is my cell, feel free!
I blog about whatever I want - that includes my life, my family, products I like, products I don't like, politics, giveaways, whatever! I have PR folks contact me and sometimes I say yes, sometimes no. I don't always like what I am reviewing either - that is how it works. If someone doesn't like my blog's contents then they don't have to read it.
PR folks - definitely call Adrienne. I'll vouch for her :)
And Robyn, don't forget that you're also very busy babysitting my to-do list via Twitter.
LOL I actually agree with zooey and claire, why the need to give it up completely? Pick and choose, write what you want.
Cat from 3 kids and us had a wonderful post about how it can get overwhelming and with so many mom bloggers out there. here is her link:
http://3kidsandus.com/2009/the-mommy-blogger-boom/
she says exactly what i said in my above comment pretty much. We have to make the choices, if your blog is stressing you out STEP BACK take a break it's that simple :) And like Adrienne I will still be there :0) even if it is only with a once weekly post lOL so come on over :)
Like so many others I appreciate a blog that is genuine. I love reading product reviews, by Mommies I feel like I KNOW, late at night while my babies are sleeping--I read them while uploading pics from my own product reviews. And the thing is--I am pretty selective about what and WHO I review. To me it isn't about receiving free product (although that is certainly nice)--it is about sharing a genuine opinion on a company or product I think my readers will genuinely appreciate. I think it has helped me not feel overwhelmed by seeking out companies who share my beliefs in handmade, eco-friendly or mommy-run businesses.
And I agree with Tiffany of Lattes and Life when she said she had never developed a second blog due to it feeling more natural to have "all of her in one place".
Same here.
No "brown/black" outs for me.
That would definitely be raining on my own parade:P
<3 sarasophia
I'm not going to be doing a black/brown out either... I have a great schedule going here... I'm not blogging everyday... I take my time out with my girls and go wonderful places! My site has always been a review blog.. It started before I got the PR pitches, and it will continue. I actually turn down a lot of them because I don't want to burn out...
sooooo ah... Yeah.. Feel free to contact me too!!! :)
I know you and I have talked about this before, but I just want to say how much I admire your candor. With all things in life, it is all about balance!
I don't judge others for how they blog, I just know what fits best with my readers.
I think for me, I am finding the balance that I am most comfortable with. This may mean missed paid opportunities, trips, or reviews because they don't fit with my goals as a reader...or more importantly, my goals as a mom.
A lot of this comes with some growth and experience. I am still growing and still learning the balance that is best for me.
I didn't comment on the Mom Dot post because I found the whole kind of arrogant (I'm sure she didn't mean it to be, but that's how it felt). We're all at different phases of blog development and every so often, one of the bigger bloggers declares that we all need to take a step back. It's not the first time this has happened. I believe that we all need to find our own balance, our own way of doing things and our own way to stay energized. I am selective with the products I talk about, so I don't feel like I need time away. As my site(s) grow, perhaps I'll need to take some time away, but I hope I don't feel like I need everyone else to come along for the ride.
l will not be participating in the black out either! Thanks Amy for this post! Ladies this isn't hard.... and there is no reason to go to extremes. Just be choosy with who your work with. I don't take every little PR offer that comes to me because I don't want to be an advertisement to my readers! It's all about making personal decisions. Each blogger will have different time frames and schedules that they have to juggle!
Just be up front and honest with the PR firms you are working with, tell them how you feel , most want to know how to approach us better. I did a MOMTV show on Bloggers Vs Brands where we talked about what bloggers want brands to know and then turned the tables and talked about what brands want bloggers to know.
Most brands just want you talk to them and tell them how you feel.
It is funny, I was just saying last night on my momtv show (discussing email box organizing) that some of the bigger bloggers must be completely overwhelmed with the amount of e-mail and offers they have coming in. I know I get overwhelmed keeping mine straight(and I am not a big blogger). So I can imagine the burn out and frustration. But I completely agree with you...why be hurtful to those trying to help you? Just take a break. Thanks!
Please stop saying that you are not a "Big Blogger" or that your blog is not known!
You are all "Big Bloggers" and very well known! If you have 1 reader or 1,000 readers your blog is your blog and it is a part of you. You don't belittle yourself (I hope!)so don't belittle your blog!
I accidentally took a break from email, blogging, PR, and even Twitter. We were working on our house, using rented equipment, and that had to be priority numero uno for a week or so.
Yeah, I got behind on emails and posts. I felt like I'd all but abandoned Twitter, too! But I'm back, and it will be fine. This [break] too, shall pass.
I think the best moment out of all of it was realizing that it's my site, and only I can make myself feel guilty about not posting. Yes, I have obligations to companies to get their reviews posted, but even with my week off, I didn't get a single nastygram or "when are you posting?!" email.
They're cool. I'm well. Everyone involved is probably better off for it.
I'm not one of the major mommy-bloggers, so I don't even feel like I have a decision to make about this black out/brown out. I feel like I'm small enough that it doesn't even apply, so I don't need to have a position on it. I hope that even when I've grown, I'll still feel this way. Heck, that's the whole stress of taking a break, I don't want growth to stagnate.
That said, PR folks are welcome to drop me a note, I'd love that. I started out doing reviews and giveaways and after some reflection, that's still where my focus is. I'm starting to make it more personal, really just to connect more with my readers. I'm a Hybrid now! Yes! =)
I think ppl just need to make a decision to NOT care so much if you are cool enough or not. Say NO sometimes--it is OK.
Loved your post--very insightful.
Werd to ya mommy blogger...{love it! gonna get a tshirt made}
I completely agree with everything you said. As one who has "burned out" on reviews, campaigns, and PR, recently, I understand the difficulty of balancing.
I took MONTHS off to spend with my family, concentrate on what the kids wanted to do, Heck..I even let them play on my laptop (what better way to take a break). I even fell in love with my first love, My personal Mom Blog.
Yes, I have two different blogs. One dedicated to my life and my loves. The other dedicated to all the extra perks of being in this blogosphere: Reviews and giveaways. I don't review every day and I like it that way.
But you're right, I respect the PR reps I work with. I EVEN became really great friends with a few of them.
If we, as a whole, want to send a message to PR reps on how to understand a Mom Blogger. Email them back and TELL them: "I'd love to work on a campaign with you for the new Fisher Price toys, however, I have plans to have a Tea Party with my 4 year old this week. Catch me next week?"
Kudos to you Resourceful Mommy. A brown out is definitely something we should all be thinking of as we define where we want to take our blog.
I have my "original" blog which started as more personal public diary, a place to lay it all on the line. Last fall I started TheMomMaven.com and with it the fun and stress of reviews and contests. I also write for a few other sites.
Yes, blogging can be stressful, the key is balance. I have cut way back on my "original" blog. I do post personal stories on TheMomMaven.com. I have considered closing my "original" blog and putting everything on TheMomMaven to cut back on the perceived stress of keeping everything full of fresh content.
I have tried to cut back on the reviews and giveaways and take back control of my site.
I started my blog as a personal blog, bifurcated into a WAHM blog, and morphed into a 3rd Product Review blog. After discussions re previous topic & advice from @JessicaKnows, I have since merged all 3 back to one blog, and now have a higher PR rating than ever because of it.
It was overwhelming to keep up 3 blogs, and still work a FT job.
We all need a "Vacation" at times. Nothing wrong with that, and helps us to rekindle our enthusiasm for what-ever in life, personal or business.
This is my first time commenting on your blog (I've stalked a few times...insert hand-smack here) and I love what you said. I have not quite got to burn out, but I have gotten overwhelmed a few times. I have also pared down the number of blogs I have to make things seamless for me. In the end I think we need to evaluate ourselves and our blogs individually and do what is best and makes sense for us! That is the essence and beauty of blogging...it is OURS and we can do with it what we want. Take a day, a week, a month off...whatevah! I read Trisha's article and I get it but I think it was her choice of words that got everyone up in arms. It did sound more like a protest than a time out. In the end ladies...DO YOU!
Amy, on your postscript, I honestly think that having more than one blog IS part of the burn out problem. See our focus is different, but our intentions were about moms relieving the stress of obligations. If you listen to our original show, it also had to do with obligations to readers, posting X amount of times per day, our PR, etc. and it was out of that that suggested the need to slow down and back off of what was not important to the majority of mom blogs (barring review bloggers) which were the additional stress of PR.
We find in our community, the moms with more than 1-2 blogs are even under MORE stress because of keeping up with all of them, plus kids, possibly jobs, and then it even doubles your responsibilities. My ideas are to always keep it as one, stay true to who you are, dont feel so competitive that you have to accept things you really dont want to do to "keep up" and to know your value and worth.
I once wrote a post called "Did social networking kill the mother" and its being published in a book here shortly. I think it has so much to do with our intents.
Overall, I apprieciate your discussion, input, respectfulness, and support for our (MomDot) community and myself alike.
Sincerely,
Trisha
It's great that there are LOTS of ways to have blogs. Infinite, probably.
I'm gonna keep doing what I do- read your blog, read Trisha's blog, write my blog (complete with reviews when I feel like it and not pitching when the product isn't a good fit)) and pray that somehow we can all just get along. Oh yeah, and unfollow the @sarahgilbert's of the world 'cause who needs people that just don't get me and my twitter pals? If you are going to disagree at least do it respectfully, right?
Wasn't it that wise little bunny, Thumper, that once said 'If ya can't say nuttin' nice, don't say nuttin' at all?'
I tried separating blogs for a while and started a photoblog (and almost started a homeschool blog before I started writing for The Homeschool Post). I quickly realized that I didn't want to compartmentalize myself and now I post everything on one blog.
I've heard companies really don't want their products pushed off onto a separate blog, so that's a consideration.
I love the way you put this- I wrote about my solution which has been two separate blogs. It works for me, and that's really all that matters. Balance, dude. It's hard to find.
I had no clue this was even going on. I just got two offers to do giveaways and plan to follow through with them. They are my first and are only because I approached the companies since I was reviewing items I bought and love. My blog is a nice escape but I take breaks and when I am off my leave I expect it won't be as frequent as it is now. For now, I enjoy it and that is all I wanted to do when I started it.
(Oh and I have a seperate personal blog that my family follows. That blog will always be ALL family!!)
So I am in the crowd that would welcome any other review offers so offer away!
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